Single perspectives do not really help in preventing this Image from Charlotte Observer 

Context: Reflections on the fatal stabbing of Iryna Zarutska in Charlotte, NC; practical safety perspectives for women from a former U.S. Army Military Police soldier and current Clinical Mental Health Counseling student.

At the end, I link my original YouTube video on the topic if you do not have time to read this. It is more thorough. 

Opening

There will be countless videos and articles about the Charlotte incident. I have said this before. I don't want to see stories like this. I think no one wants to. So my goal is to give the information that may allow us all to see you tomorrow.

I'm not here to sensationalize the event or monetize it - I want to clarify what actually helps, what doesn't, and why some common talking points completely miss the mark. I don't want women believing the ideocracy.

In this piece, I'm speaking directly to women - especially younger women - about practical safety. Please share this religiously! It may save someone.

I have known several women personally who have really been handed life-changing consequences from not preparing for potential issues. One is also dead. She made all the wrong choices (distance from support, no protection, being where they expected her to be, etc.).

Common "What She Should Have Done" Statements

Be more aware. Being more aware sounds helpful, but it's not a magic solution. In tight spaces like a subway, constantly swiveling to scan becomes both unrealistic and often useless. You won't spin around every time you hear clothing rustle. You may be diagnosed with paranoia. The attacker already had proximity and timing advantages. Turning your head every five seconds won't overcome a blade striking from close range. Headphones didn't cause this tragedy. From the video, the man looks like he opens his folding knife silently. Awareness absolutely matters, but proximity and surprise will beat awareness in close quarters every time. However, I will provide a realistic timeframe of how not having headphones would have helped Iryna. It would have given her .25 seconds to magically stop it. Mental health access: Even when services exist, repeat offenders often won't use them voluntarily. Even if you forced them, change is not something that can be instilled in anyone; they have to want it. Language barriers aren't insurmountable with telehealth - cities can partner to provide care in multiple languages if they choose to. There are so many innovative options that it is absurd for anyone to make that excuse. I am only a clinical mental health counseling student and I can tell you that. Public policy & transit: Expecting young immigrants and repeat violent offenders to share the same public systems without proper safeguards creates a dangerous risk multiplier. "We don't have the budget" isn't a strategy - it's an excuse. Only one of those is the correct answer: strategy. Partnerships with rideshare companies and community programs become possible with genuine will and smart planning. I know full well that cities hand out the same free passes to immigrants and felons. I used to hand out bus passes to all of my clients. Employers & scheduling: Late shifts automatically increase exposure to danger. Shift swap options, safer commute alternatives, and employer flexibility can make real fundamental differences. Men, swap the shifts with her! This is the reality that we live with until we can put the fear of God into criminals. Crowds aren't automatic safety: Violent assaults happen in broad daylight with people around. Bystanders often can't see an attack developing directly behind you. This story is one proof of that. The Boston Bombing is another fact. Fighting skills vs. a knife from behind: Even trained fighters and instructors avoid engaging knives up close. Surprise + blade + proximity = deadly combination. You can't block what you don't see coming. Concealed carry in this scenario: If someone ambushes you from behind and then disengages, your priority isn't to chase and shoot. It's to save your own life. There is no scenario here where a gun would be worth anything. Again, without headphones, she had a .25-second response time. It is comparable to the timeframe Chris Kyle might have had. You are not superhuman. Pepper spray: Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. It's not reliable in windy conditions, at a distance, when they are one foot behind you and you cannot see them, or with certain attackers. I have seen people get sprayed and nothing happened. I have seen people get messed up by their own pepper spray when an attacker who got hit comes in contact with the person. Look it up. Again, a .25-second response time does not give you any options. We are talking multi-prong system failure, including women not planning for their own safety. No one is coming to save you. That's actually a book by Lt. Col. Scott Mann (Ret.). Multiple System Failures (and Why Some Blame Gets Misdirected). Several factors deserve real scrutiny, as you can see from the aforementioned list, but some finger-pointing misses the actual problems, such as "be more aware" or "have pepper spray." All of that is important, but it will only keep you safe in specific circumstances. Distance + deterrence: In open spaces (like parking lots), audible alarms, visible deterrence, and maintaining distance can change outcomes. If you are a mother who has pepper spray, and a guy tries to take your child from the stroller or the shopping cart, what do you do? Children have smaller airways and lungs; they have a higher sensitivity and will have stronger irritation and swelling; their size is smaller, thus will absorb a much higher concentration of it; and children cannot control panic and make decisions that better their situation. Same situation, but you have a screecher or a siren. Kids have more sensitive ears. Gunshots are different; they pose a psychological and emotional fear: fight, flight, or freeze situation. Most people do not have bad residuals after a few pop shots at close range. Risk Context for Newcomers A recent immigrant (she was reportedly around 23) can't quickly absorb all the local safety nuances. Expecting someone new to a city and system to instantly recognize safer routes, times, and seating choices is unrealistic. Immediate After-Attack Priorities (If the Assailant Has Left) Combat Life Saving Steps: 1) Safety: If the threat disengages, don't pursue. Start lifesaving techniques. 2) Bleeding control: Apply direct pressure immediately. Use clothing if needed. By apply pressure, what most people don't get, is what that actually means. Take your shirt off and shove it in the holes; probably as hard as you can. It will hurt more than anything you have probably experienced. But especially if they hit an artery, you want to pinch that, or slow it down and let it clot. So shove that cloth inside you and press as hard as you can. 3) Call for help: Point to a specific bystander - "You, in the blue shirt, call 911." "You in the white shirt, come help press on this!" "You in the blue shirt, find the defibrillator!" Practical Precautions for Women Night travel: The midnight–4:30 a.m. window carries the highest risk. When possible, avoid public transit during these hours. Commute planning: Target day shifts whenever you can. If night work is unavoidable, arrange rides with trusted contacts or vetted ride services. Deterrence tools: – Small personal alarm or "screamer" attached to your bag or keychain. – Bright tactical flashlight for signaling and close-range defense. – Pepper spray (only after proper training - know your range and technique). Concealed carry (where legal and after thorough training): – Pursue only after quality instruction and consistent practice. – Remember: defensive use stops immediate threats, not retaliation. Training: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu builds real grappling skills - crucial if someone grabs you. Combine it with situational awareness drills and escape techniques. These steps don't guarantee safety, but layered defenses significantly improve your odds.) Home & Daily-Life Safety Residence: Install quality locks, motion-sensor lighting, and security cameras or video doorbells. Vehicles: Reliable transportation reduces your dependence on risky late-night transit options. Have two cars. Boundaries at work and socially: Think twice before inviting coworkers or new acquaintances into your private spaces. Learn to spot people who push boundaries early. Community & Infrastructure Ideas We can push for innovation beyond "work with what exists": • Female-focused residential communities with integrated wellness corridors - gyms, skincare, counseling, cafés - can centralize both safety and services. I just gave you one of my business ideas. Let me know if you are at a time in your life to spearhead it, and I will help where I can. I have been wanting to build this for at least seven years, but this kind of business is on another track than I am right now. Counseling & Support • Establish a relationship with a counselor before crisis hits. Complete your intake now so help is just a phone call away when life gets overwhelming. • A skilled counselor should serve any client professionally, regardless of their beliefs or background. Look at the American Counseling Association counselor competency standards. Money & Logistics Matter Your financial situation directly affects your safety options: safer neighborhoods, personal vehicles, better home security, training courses, and protective equipment. Budget with intention - knowledge and planning are your first line of defense. I can help with this, too. Male Psychology & Social Reality Some men struggle to regulate impulses - whether driven by status envy, rejection, or attraction, these emotions can fuel aggressive behavior. These behaviors increase the risk of attack if the guy does not have experience with these populations. This doesn't excuse their actions, but it's a risk we need to acknowledge and plan around. Remember this mindset: You owe no one access to you. Your boundaries aren't up for negotiation. You can clearly see from the video of the attack that this unprovoked attack had male psychology written all over it. Having other people around him, but seeing her face as she walked his way to sit down, showed him his once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. He did not know she was an immigrant, or if she did not even speak English. He saw her physical features. Obviously, that was it. Closing Message I want you to live freely - ice cream in one hand, phone in the other - without a trace of fear. That's our goal. Since we're not there yet everywhere, build layered defenses: smart planning, practical tools, solid training, supportive community, and ongoing policy pressure. Do not let your local city hall not know what you need. Keep on them. Share this with the women. All of them. If even one idea here shifts a decision tomorrow, it could save a life. We live in a culture where women do not plan their safety out. Especially younger women. However, she was also a recent immigrant or refugee, so it's unlikely she thought her life here would be so short here. She left the place she thought was dangerous. Don't make that mistake, and don't be passive toward the women around you, too. My Video Visit My Website Restore the Family: Military Transitions | Nonprofit Services | High Point Support for military families in High Point with career assistance, education, and mental health programs. Contact…rtfmt.org --- © Jessica and Joshua Lyon 2024. All Rights Reserved. To cite us, use this format and edit as necessary (APA, 7th edition):  In-text citation: (Lyon & Lyon, 2024). Reference Page: Lyon, J. & Lyon, J. (2024, November 20). Contest entry: Giving freedom shows their heart in relationships, friendships, and family. Medium. https://medium.com/p/9d1677d865d0